Fhhh..!

    I fell for her. Again. asdfghjkl; Ughhhh. I don't even know when or why.
    You guys probably don't know what I'm talking about, so I'll have to lay it all out for you. When I was in the seventh grade, there was an eighth grade girl in my P.E. class named Lexi. [No, not the same Lexi my brother was talking with. I have updates on that too, actually.] Well, at first, I thought she was absolutely beautiful.

[IMAGE REMOVED DUE TO BLOG BEING DORMANT]

Then, it turned out our lockers were only one away from being next to each other. (Her > Someone > Me) I almost always found myself staring at her. [Not when she was dressing. I made sure NOT to look at her when we were changing.] I starting talking to her, and she became even more amazing to me. So many people hated her for being a "fake slutty bitch" when she was exactly the opposite. I've known her for over two years now, and I can testify myself that she is one of the most real, and one of the nicest girls I've known. She's not afraid to let you know that she doesn't like you, but she'll always give you a second chance. It's almost impulsive for her to forgive someone. So I got to know her during seventh grade for about the whole semester, until she graduated that year and went to a high school far away. I've always kept in contact with her on Facebook, and still do.

     I remember last year, towards the end of the school year, I had finally gotten the courage to confess to her [over Facebook. x'D I couldn't do it face to face.] and tell her that I liked her. I knew I was going to get rejected, but I had just wanted to get it off my chest and tell her. Honestly, I think she was beyond nice in letting me down. [Which in the end just made me like her all the more.] She's always called me sweet because I just love to compliment her. People who hate her always put her down, and she doesn't show that she's affected, but it always hurts her, every time. I'm always trying to boost her self confidence, because she thinks she's fat and ugly, when she's completely gorgeous inside and out. Anyway, she let me down in a way that didn't make me feel bad for liking her, at all. 

    So, it's been about a year, year and a half since I've last seen her [in person], and months since I've talked to her. But lately, I find myself feeling the same as I did for her back in seventh grade. So somehow, I've fallen for her all over again. I was listening to this song today, and it reminded me so much of her.

                                       

     I always want to call her beautiful. I want her to be happy. God, I fell hard, didn't I? (ll_ _)

     I hope you guys have more luck with love than I do. The last person I fell for was gay. And my best friend. We got through it all, but he disappeared a month and a half ago [not literally] and I haven't talked to him since. I suppose I'll get into that story another time. I think I still have to tell you guys about Northern California, too. And what happened with my brother and his girlfriend. Another story for another day.

- Savana ☯