This Is Just Downright Idiotic.

     Christal has been home for almost a MONTH and we have yet to spend any time together. You both have gone AWOL. We start high school in a week and have barely talked all summer. D:< You people's schedules are too damn busy. =__="
     In other news.. I have no other news. I'm just trying to get on my sleep schedule. I've completely re-arranged my room since I had no space. Surprisingly, now there's a huge space in the center of my room. I'm obsessing over quite a few songs. I've stopped watching k-dramas for the past few weeks. I just ran out of gum. Basically my daily life.

- Savana

Also, I'm going to stop posting the yin and yang sign I usually post after my name. It's a bit of a hassle because of coloring issues.

Hey Guys :] (Cont.)

     Scroll down and read the previous post first, please. My computer's being an idiot and won't let me edit it to keep going.
     So at first, I got thinking. "Things change when they find purpose? But which one of us found a purpose that caused us to stop talking to each other?" Even now I don't have an answer to that. The only way I can maybe describe it is with a Japanese saying; we crossed paths without meeting. I guess we've both moved on. I suppose it's a good thing for me. I used to spend my time talking to him, and my grades dropped because I spent even less times studying, when I bothered myself enough to. Freshman year means studyyy. >3< Sadly. And then I started wondering if it was even worth it being that close to him, just to have it end this way. Would I have been better off not even knowing him? It was at that time I stumbled across what Dakotah had said. I naively thought that we would have been able to be friends for a few years. But, just as he had said, nothing lasts forever. Even though it has ended, I'll always remember him, and always be grateful for what a wonderful friend he was. He was a first love, best friend, yet kind of like a little brother all rolled into one. [Even though he's older. XD He turns sixteen the day Christal turns fifteen. :] You two share the same birthday.] I don't quite know how this experience will work out in my favor. Maybe it already has. Maybe it never will. But I'll always remember him. And that's what matters most to me.

- Savana ☯

Hey Guys :]

     I am in an amazingly good mood right now. I read back through some old conversations between me and Burger Buns from Facebook I didn't know I still had. XD If you two are wondering what happened to him, I don't know either. ^ ^ He hasn't spoken to me since the middle of June. The funny thing is, I predicted that something like this would happen. I saw it when I was looking through our old convos. We had been talking about how he was worried that Kenji [his boyfriend] would go back to being straight in the week that he had to go to Seattle with his dad. [Kenji's ex-girlfriend was/is gunning to get him back at all costs. And neither of them are out of the closet. BB absolutely CAN'T with the situation with his dad, and Kenji's.. not gay. XD Akira's just the only exception. (Just like the song! :D)] We were talking about how his ex was the biggest obstacle for them now that Derek had been taken care of. [Not really. But temporarily.] I had said that their relationship was going to be really tough and a bumpy road. Well, bumpier than it already was. [His love life was like a drama. XD It was horrible to go through back then, but it's actually really funny now that I look back on it. ;D] I told him that it was just a vague feeling, but I felt that their biggest obstacle would somehow come in around two weeks. And I suppose I was right. I didn't notice until after I had checked the day of the messages, but the day we stopped talking to each other was almost exactly two weeks after that. And for us, who talked every day for pretty much half the day, [Literally. I would talk to him for 6 - 8 hours most of the time. And for the whole night a lot of times. That's why I slept so much in Science and English. XD We never ran out of things to talk about.] I would think that he got shook up. He got sad if we didn't get to talk one day, and the week he was gone was apparently torture. XD He was a pretty fragile person. :] Had a lot of problems. [Like being an insomniac. >o> It was so hard for me to get him to sleep.] I just thought it was so ironic! I had been so torn over it the past two months, and then just when I get over it, I find out I had actually foreshadowed [hehe. English term.] it. So I just thought I had blog about that for you two~
     I know you guys are used to seeing me super irritated and lazy, so me being so cheery and peppy, especially on this topic, might seem really weird to you guys. But I'm listening to my new favorite song, eating Oreos, and just laughed my butt off after reading me and Akira's conversations. And it was a Facebook post, too. "In an amazingly good mood~ :]" I'm happy because I'm finally done waiting. Waiting for that email from him saying he's back. Waiting for my first love to come back and say he hadn't ditched me. Waiting for my best friend to come back. Sorry to say guys, but he was even closer to me than you two are. He knew everything.  Even the stuff I decided to never tell anyone else, ever. But then I realized a few days ago. Am I really going to keep waiting and hurting myself, knowing he'll probably never come back? Am I going to be this pathetic girl who clings onto this shred of hope, endlessly waiting for a boy to come back to her? So I decided. I'm done. I'm done waiting. Hoping. Expecting.
     Done.
     If he comes back? That'd be beyond awesome. If he doesn't? I won't be hurt by it anymore. I've always had a knack for quoting people, and I had only reached this decision a few days after seeing this one. I thank Lexi's current boyfriend, Dakotah. He has amazing insight that completely helped me out of this. First, it was this that got me thinking.


"All things change, when they find purpose."


Then when he responded to a girl asking for advice on something, it helped me even further.


"But it did happen, and if you truly found yourself, only you can change that. Nothing lasts forever. Appreciate that experience for what it was, and don't forget what you learned from it. With each memory, it will leave something that'll be apart of you forever; even if you do not want it to be. But in the end it will all work out in your favor, you must wait for that day to come though, friend."

WE BE KICKIN' IT UP LIKE INDIAAAANS!

     Lmfao, you wish. Y'all don't have your Indian spirit on. Buuuut.. you might after you listen to this! :D Don't even attempt to pronounce this. I know you two will fuck it up horribly. XD Well, Brittany at least. If you fail at Japanese pronunciation, you have not a chance at Hindi.

If you're going to attempt the title of the song, it's pronounced LAH-BONE KOH, and it's from the movie "Bhool Bhulaiyaa." Pronounced BHOOL BOO-LAY-IYAA, roughly. Well.. just ask me to tell you guys if you really want to be able to say it. XD

I Tried.

     I'm copying this from what I wrote last night. :P 
     I'm writing this at midnight, so if it doesn't make sense, I apologize. I'm about to pass out from exhaustion; so much so that I can't even bear to lift my head and stare at the screen of my laptop.

      Many of us experience a shattering love, that makes you yearn for the other person day or night, every second of the day. For some, it ends only in an even more shattering heartbreak. Some are gifted with more luck and manage to capture the other person's heart just as much as theirs was. But right now, I feel the need to delve into the side of those who had that heartbreak unfortunately befall them and place that ever burdensome lead weight upon their heart. The reaction to it greatly varies from person to person, as we all handle shock and pain differently from one another. With all our defenses disarmed and guards thrown aside alongside blocks upon blocks of our pride, different wounds are inflicted upon us from the one we loved, or still do love to this very day. Some may want their wound to burn, so that they will never forget it. To scar them for life so it'll always remind us of our past love that can never be replaced, or completely healed from. Others feel like they were ripped apart, with every fiber of their being straining to hold itself in a semblance of what it once was. A tornado passing into our life, whirling away any form of common sense we once held that makes us desperately cling onto whatever else we have left. Then, just as quickly, it departs, leaving behind a despairingly shredded up heart with heaps upon heaps of wretched anguish. They say time heals all wounds. Indeed, it may heal our wounds, but even time can never make us completely forget pieces of our painful past.

At times, the agony becomes too much to bear, and makes us want to run from ourselves and the world, into a mysterious, secluded place no one and nothing can bother us in ever again. We want to forget it, yet do not at the same time. To forget the pain and only retain the precious memories, and live in the past to change everything that had gone wrong. Yet, sometimes our only escape is when we can close our eyes for blissful moments of nothingness.

• Savana

Inspired by “Scars (Stronger For Life)” by Corrinne May.

Hm..

     I've just noticed. I've only posted rants so far, despite the title of this including "musings and that other crazy shit." Yet I have posted not one musing. Hm. I need to post one up soon. See if I can carve out something decent enough to share with my fellow [two] peers. Actually, I think I have just the perfect playlist to inspire a musing. :] I'll put it together some time in the next few days and see if anything is born from my tendency of over analyzing and wallowing myself in my music. And I have a new artist I would like to share with you guys, but I'd like to hold on to her a bit longer, until the new post is ready. So, I'll probably be editing to a few of her things. Do you two have any other requests to be made? I might start doing movies. x] HOWEVER. I only have three movies on my iPod. :P So no requests for movies since they take a shitload of time for me to find in good quality for free and download. If you guys want something from The Karate Kid (2010 remake with Jackie Chan), Easy A, or Tangled, then feel free to ask. If not, forget it. :P
     I wonder if I can conjure up something. We'll just have to see, I suppose. And now, I should probably go sleep since I have to catch a morning class with Brittany for Jazzercise. And then we get to hang with Christal! :DDDD

- Savana

Oh Dear.

     I'll start with the updates. Yesterday or the day before, Lexi and Damian broke up. And honestly, I think it was for real this time. They're both with different people now. He left her for another girl. I couldn't ask for the whole story, since I'm obviously not related to it at all. But from what I gathered from her Facebook, the other girl took Damian from her and he went with her, ditching Lexi. He doesn't update his Facebook often, so I don't know his side of it. The only recent thing he's said is:

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I keep having to edit this entry. :P He posted again yesterday, but on Lexi's wall.

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So it turns out he IS sorry for it, but he won't get back together with Lexi..? Ugh, see this is why I don't want to be in a relationship until I'm older. Too much damn drama.

And yes, I edited it. :P I'm trying to keep some sort of privacy for them. And they're both with new people, as you see:

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I don't know the Hailee chick, so she doesn't get censored. :L But from what I've seen of Dakotah, he's awesome. :] So he gets his privacy. He's been Lexi's best friend for however many years. So I guess they started dating. :o Okay, enough updates on them. I'm tired of editing Facebook pages already. -_-
Edit: [agaaain?! yes. again.] She and Dakotah are NOT dating. At least so she says. xD You guys can interpret this however you'd like:

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There was waaay more, but I didn't feel like doing all of it. ;P

Another thing is.. CHRISTAL'S COMING HOME TODAAAAYYYY!!! :DDDDDD
We seriously need to hang out. D: Especially since I have to go to California so soon after you come back.

- Savana ☯

You Two Barely Update. >3>

     *Sings in Hawaiian* Yeeaaah, Lilo and Stitch music up in here! I started listening to Hawaiian music as I was digging through my closet in boredom to see if anything interesting came to mind when I saw them. And then I saw the dress. >o> That my mom kept bugging me to wear but I always avoided wearing. So, - Hold onto your seats children - I tried it on in my room. It was a bit big on my before, but now it's even bigger! :O I think Jazzercise started working for me. XD Then I remember the priority excuse for not wearing it: it's too low! You need to wear a tank top underneath it, and Mom doesn't let me buy them. So I don't wear the dress. >w> I remember I got it on.. Spring Break? when I went to Huntington Beach with the fam.

     The trip was my birthday present for the year. XD I think the only other present I got for my birthday was from my Filipino family [No, I am not Filipino. But they're like family to me. :P] and it was my brown bag that Brittany loves to drool over. XDD [Which you're welcome to borrow at any time, as long as you ask and return it in the same condition.]

     I have to go to California once more in exactly one week from now. Basically the day after my orientation. Except that this trip will be a bit more different. My stepsister's granmum will be coming along [for an unknown reason to me. o-o] as well as my brother. Each time I've gone to California this year, my brother hasn't been able to tag along because of work. More people means less room to sleep on the floor though. D: We usually book a room with two beds. Charles and Imani in one, and my mom in one with me on the floor. [I roll and like to spread out in bed, so I get booted off to the floor automatically whenever we stay in a hotel. But at least I get all the pillows since Mom can't stand having more than one. XD]

     Soooo, Christal comes home in two days! :D Seriously, it's been way too long since I've seen you. -_- Two months. We need to hit up a WalMart, ASAP. Since you guys insist on going. xD Oh and I let Brittany talk me into a manicure. u_u; I will admit that it's very pretty, but ouuuucchhhh that scrub hurt! >3< We all need to hang out. Like. NAOOOOOO! In two days time. And I heard you moved again? :O We need to catch up, A LOT. And I'm starving right now, so I'll leave you with my Hawaiian song and go eat.

- Savana ☯

I'm All Set To Explore!

     To put that more clearly, to explore another culture. As you both know, I have an enormous fascination with Asian culture, history, beliefs, and anything of the like. So much so, that I commonly listen to music in Asian dialects, watch their TV shows, and am currently learning one of their languages. Well, to be more accurate, I've delved into Japanese and Korean culture. Well, now I'm ready to delve in Chinese culture. Their history is one of the things I enjoy the most right now. I've always loved history, believe it or not. Before I got into my inner Asian [haha xD], I was really into the medieval age. It made me want to learn how to wield a sword and fight. When I became enraptured by the Japanese culture, that want turned into wanting to learn kendo, the art of Japanese sword fighting. [But then I realized how much gear you have to put on, and those shindo's must be reaaaally heavy..] Which ended up in an evolution in wanting to learn how to fence, especially because it's one of the few sports where men and woman are on entirely equal terms with each other.
     I ended up babbling. XD Sorry 'bout that. I actually just wanted to make a quick entry to share a song with you, in Chinese. I don't know if it's Mandarin or Cantonese or another dialect, so that's a bit unknown. It's by Sky Wu (English) / Wu Si Kai (Chinese). I have to thank Christal for getting me into Chinese music with the Shanghai Restoration Project, who I'll also link down below. x] So you guys will get a taste of my interests in foreign music. :D

- Savana ☯

Sky Wu / Wu Si Kai - "Eighteen"

The Shanghai Restoration Project - "Diamonds"

Well, this one I have to explain. XD This is actually a remix, but it's one that I really love. It's the instrumental of "Nanjing Road" by TSRP [Heey, one initial away from being Brittany!], with vocals from Kanye West from  his song "Diamond." TSRP isn't technically Chinese music. They're a Chinese electronic group. They incorporate traditional Chinese instruments into modern day hip hop beats and sing in English. What do you guys think of the songs, artists, or just the music in general? c:

Tell Me That Story, Again..

     Obsessing over a Christmas song. x] Corny, but it's just such a wonderful song. In my defense, it IS an original song by a YouTube artist. But, the reason I wanted to blog at two in the morning [I know. I'm half dead right now.] is that I got inspiration to mess with my hair, for some new do's. ;P I don't really know why, but I get most of my inspiration in the middle of the night. Anyhoo, yeah. Messin' with my hair. [I did come up with a few things, fortunately. I'm way tired of wearing my hair normally. >:L I'd like to have it re-layered as well, soon.] And then I realized, Christal hasn't seen me in what? A month? Month and a half? So I figured I'd take a photo or two just so you know I'm alive and well. xD Sooo..

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My webcam's quality is sucky, so I had to make these small. :x

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Okay, that last one wasn't my most amazing shot ever, but I figured it was the one that actually showed I had done something to my hair. I had a chunk of hair left over, so I made it into a French braid and bobby pinned it in place in the back. ;P Which you can't see since I didn't feel like turning around. And eesh, my shirt fell down for the last one, too. >_> So yeah. That's all you get from me this early in the morning. @ _ @ I came up with a few really fast, really messy do's for when I'm super lazy or rushing to get to the bus stop in the morning. If you stuck a hair piece in it, you might  be able to pull it off as a messy, but artsy thing. My hair still had curls in it, which helped my tired, but inspired, imagination. And now, I will curl up with a book and this song, and go to sleep. Annyeong~

- Savana ☯