Hey Guys :]

     I am in an amazingly good mood right now. I read back through some old conversations between me and Burger Buns from Facebook I didn't know I still had. XD If you two are wondering what happened to him, I don't know either. ^ ^ He hasn't spoken to me since the middle of June. The funny thing is, I predicted that something like this would happen. I saw it when I was looking through our old convos. We had been talking about how he was worried that Kenji [his boyfriend] would go back to being straight in the week that he had to go to Seattle with his dad. [Kenji's ex-girlfriend was/is gunning to get him back at all costs. And neither of them are out of the closet. BB absolutely CAN'T with the situation with his dad, and Kenji's.. not gay. XD Akira's just the only exception. (Just like the song! :D)] We were talking about how his ex was the biggest obstacle for them now that Derek had been taken care of. [Not really. But temporarily.] I had said that their relationship was going to be really tough and a bumpy road. Well, bumpier than it already was. [His love life was like a drama. XD It was horrible to go through back then, but it's actually really funny now that I look back on it. ;D] I told him that it was just a vague feeling, but I felt that their biggest obstacle would somehow come in around two weeks. And I suppose I was right. I didn't notice until after I had checked the day of the messages, but the day we stopped talking to each other was almost exactly two weeks after that. And for us, who talked every day for pretty much half the day, [Literally. I would talk to him for 6 - 8 hours most of the time. And for the whole night a lot of times. That's why I slept so much in Science and English. XD We never ran out of things to talk about.] I would think that he got shook up. He got sad if we didn't get to talk one day, and the week he was gone was apparently torture. XD He was a pretty fragile person. :] Had a lot of problems. [Like being an insomniac. >o> It was so hard for me to get him to sleep.] I just thought it was so ironic! I had been so torn over it the past two months, and then just when I get over it, I find out I had actually foreshadowed [hehe. English term.] it. So I just thought I had blog about that for you two~
     I know you guys are used to seeing me super irritated and lazy, so me being so cheery and peppy, especially on this topic, might seem really weird to you guys. But I'm listening to my new favorite song, eating Oreos, and just laughed my butt off after reading me and Akira's conversations. And it was a Facebook post, too. "In an amazingly good mood~ :]" I'm happy because I'm finally done waiting. Waiting for that email from him saying he's back. Waiting for my first love to come back and say he hadn't ditched me. Waiting for my best friend to come back. Sorry to say guys, but he was even closer to me than you two are. He knew everything.  Even the stuff I decided to never tell anyone else, ever. But then I realized a few days ago. Am I really going to keep waiting and hurting myself, knowing he'll probably never come back? Am I going to be this pathetic girl who clings onto this shred of hope, endlessly waiting for a boy to come back to her? So I decided. I'm done. I'm done waiting. Hoping. Expecting.
     Done.
     If he comes back? That'd be beyond awesome. If he doesn't? I won't be hurt by it anymore. I've always had a knack for quoting people, and I had only reached this decision a few days after seeing this one. I thank Lexi's current boyfriend, Dakotah. He has amazing insight that completely helped me out of this. First, it was this that got me thinking.


"All things change, when they find purpose."


Then when he responded to a girl asking for advice on something, it helped me even further.


"But it did happen, and if you truly found yourself, only you can change that. Nothing lasts forever. Appreciate that experience for what it was, and don't forget what you learned from it. With each memory, it will leave something that'll be apart of you forever; even if you do not want it to be. But in the end it will all work out in your favor, you must wait for that day to come though, friend."